00:04 Welcome to Family Twist, a podcast about relatively unusual stories of long lost families, adoption, and lots of drama. I'm Corey. And I'm Kendall, and we've been partners for over 16 years. In the last episode, we discussed that I was not an only child and that my dad, my brother, and my sister all live in New England. So we quickly made plans to visit your new family, who live in New England, and we were in the San Francisco Bay Area at the time.

00:32 But before we made that visit, your brother reached out on Labor Day 2017, flashing back to the first conversation that you and Chris ever had, which was discussed in episode two. Chris quickly made you realize that you didn't know as much as you thought you knew about your birth. You, of course, didn't know what I didn't know about my mother's family. Like, you didn't know that I didn't know her. Right.

01:01 Because I remember one of your first questions was you asked me something about I remember saying, and you were like, oh, you don't know much. You are polite about it, but you're like, oh, that's your birth mother. And to hear somebody say that, like, you're my brother and you're telling me the name of my mother, it felt very surreal. Right. I actually thought I was having an out of body. I would think you must have been almost ready to pass out.

01:29 It was very like, I would have a hard time breathing normally. I would be probably in a position where I need to literally focus on my breathing or I'm going to lose it. That is amazing. Yeah. I remember you being really polite about, I know they're not not related to them, but you think there's any way that you could help me find who they were? And I thought, I think I can. So I called dad right away and said, I want more details.

02:00 What do you mean? He's probably half drunk. And I was like, Tell me more about I said, does she have siblings? Do you know anything about her parents names? Tell me what you know about her father, that type of stuff. He'd say, oh, she has a sister. I go, what's her real name? Dad. Come on. He struggled for a little while. He came up with he goes, dad was not an Air Force guy.

02:31 Navy guy. I was like, I didn't realize any other branch was on. What it's there for? I'm just dumb to that. I didn't know. So I said, oh. I said, that's interesting. So I Typed in her name, your mom's name, her sister's name. Navy obituary, Arkansas. Yeah, I think that's what I put in first hit.

02:59 You knew it was a perfect hit when you read the obituary, and it referenced her name being exactly. So I was like, oh, my God. I just found out who they are. Where they are. He has more siblings. And I gave you that information. Yeah. I felt like I just won some sort of competition. I was so excited to help you with that.

03:26 The information that you gave me, which was on Labor Day, because I'll never forget us all being home. I remember you called me and you said, are you sitting down? And I was like, no. And you were like, you should. I think I just found your birth mother. And I was like, Holy God. So it was amazing. But I remember going literally, I think you and I were still on the phone when I jumped onto Facebook and did a quick search for it.

03:56 Who isn't in Arkansas, who had a sister named shocking and bizarre that it was that easy to find them, just one tiny little piece of information. And then I could quickly then see that Jackie had children listed on Facebook. So I instantly knew I had at least three other half siblings.

04:24 I specifically remember getting off the phone with you, and you were telling me, I'm going to look into this. And I got off and I sat with that information maybe ten or 15 minutes. And then I said to Karen, I'm worried. I said, I'm worried that he's going to go reach out to siblings that doesn't know that he exists and he is going to break this thing wide open for them. And I'm worried about what the impact of that will be.

04:55 And she's like, oh, you're right. And then maybe a little of that happened. I don't know. You can tell that story. Yes. Because Corey had the very same fear. I remember. So you and I spoke on Labor Day and you gave me that detail that helped me go onto Facebook and find and I remember as soon as I had done that and found her on Facebook, I bounded up the stairs or Corey was sleeping, trying to sleep in on a holiday.

05:26 And I break into the bedroom, scare him to death and say, oh, my God, Chris just helped me find my birth mother. And I'm like spewing information. He's half asleep. He's like, what are you talking about? And it was kind of funny. And of course, it was wonderful. And he says, Take a moment. Breathe. Yeah. Take a deep breath. Maybe you don't want to jump in so quickly to reach out to these people because exactly what you said. Maybe they don't know about you. Maybe they don't know you exist.

05:57 Right. And I did think that that was a possibility. But I also was very impatient. And I gave it the joke that we've always said as well. I gave it two good solid hours. I paste up and down the floor in the condo and said, oh, I can't not reach out.

06:23 And I had first reached out to on Facebook and sent her a message on messenger. But I could also see that at that moment, she hadn't posted anything in like two years. Right. So I thought, well, she's never going to see this. Yeah, right. And so I thought, well, who do I reach out to next? Logically, in retrospect, I wish I had just reached out to him. I didn't. That's hindsight. Yeah.

06:53 Who knows if she's like an evil woman versus the sweet one? She ended up. Absolutely. So I didn't. But I thought, to me, it's unfair if Jackie's other children have a sibling and they don't know it, you know, I just felt like, look, I'm going to reach out to them. And Cory, again, was being the voice of reason in my ear, which, of course, was useless, but he was trying I'm totally on your side because I tried to put myself in your shoes.

07:23 And I said to Karen, there's no way I would have reached out to I would have worried about the damages after this is about me. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't have cared. Absolutely. I would have felt bad about hurting someone's feelings that they didn't know or opening up a can of worms that they didn't know existed. But deep down, what are you going to do? Just stay quiet the rest of your life about it? I'm sorry. Exactly. I'm sorry. I thought you did the right thing.

07:53 And I used my age as a justification for myself constantly. Like, I've waited 47 years. I'm not waiting ten more minutes to reach out to these people. So shortly after speaking with Chris, we decided to invite my sister Stephanie onto the show. Just for clarification purposes, you might have already noticed, but Chris is my father's son and Stephanie is my mother's daughter.

08:24 I'm so happy to introduce you to my sister Stephanie. Welcome to the show, Stephanie. Yes. Before you ever found out about Kendall, had you heard of anyone finding somebody through, like, a DNA test? I don't think I knew anyone personally that had found anyone through a DNA test. But of course, I had heard people finding biological family.

08:48 I don't think I know anyone personally, but certainly I've heard quite a few people finding loved ones through ancestry, DNA or other forms of DNA testing. But never thought in a million years it would happen in my family. But just talking to friends and coworkers families are interesting. There's a lot of things that you see families, coworkers that you work with, and you think everything's perfect.

09:17 And families are complicated and complicated. Complicated, bad. This has definitely been one of the best experiences of my life, and I'm very fortunate that this has happened. It's been a great ride so far. It really has. So you were actually on vacation up here in New England when your sister Brooke found out?

09:48 Yeah. So what do you recall about the conversation you and Brooke had when she shared the big news? Actually, our biological mom told me. And then I spoke with Brooke, my sister and then I spoke with my brother. So it was mostly just joy. Speaking with my sister and brother, finding out the news, it's like, wow, this is incredible. I can't believe this has happened.

10:17 And I don't remember the exact conversation, but I know my sister and I spoke about it frequently, several days. And it's just that it was a great feeling knowing that we do have a sibling out there. And from what we understand, he was a normal person. But, yeah, it was all feelings of joy and happiness. No reservations on our end at all.

10:48 So what about telling Jim and Oliver? What was that like? Oh, they were excited. Oliver younger, of course. But I remember Jim saying, when did we meet him? You've always wanted an older brother. And that's something I've always said it would be so cool to have an older brother. And here it is. My older brother found me. But, yeah, it was all great feelings.

11:17 When do we get to meet him? Let's plan a visit to San Francisco. But, yeah, it was all positive feedback from my family. Jim is your husband, Oliver is your son. So Kendall had a conversation with Brooke the day that she found out, and then you were on vacation for a few more days? I believe so. Kendall, do you remember how you and Stephanie connected?

11:48 Yeah. I mean, it's funny because Brooke and I connected on Labor Day of 2017. Corey, you already know I was gung Ho. I wanted to speak to everybody immediately. And it was overwhelming to learn not knowing, I mean, knowing that I might have siblings out there, but then became such a reality so quickly.

12:18 And I remember reaching out to Brooke, and she and I had spoken, and I was like, oh, well, can you reach out to Richard and to Stephanie and just tell them and let them here's my number. And Brooke was wise. She was like, Stephanie is on vacation. This is a weird thing for me to call her when she's visiting other family in New England.

12:45 And she was right to say, let's let her get home and get settled, and then we'll connect you, too. And so I'm an impatient person anyway. And this just proved it because I was just pacing for days. I was like, why can't she get home yet? You know what I mean? As if you weren't allowed to have a vacation. And so I just couldn't wait. I couldn't wait. And then hadn't really connected with Richard yet either.

13:16 So it felt not anticlimactic, but it's like I've got three siblings, and I've only spoken to one. It just felt really hurry up and wait. And then you did get home, and it sounds like our mother told you. And then you and Brooke talk about it, and then we did connect on the phone, which was surreal, I think, probably for both of us. Absolutely. Yeah.

13:46 I had to think back I couldn't remember if we spoke by a text first or by phone. And then you did tell me. Yeah, it was by phone. And I remember we had planned the phone call, and I was anticipating it a nervous energy. And then I heard your voice, and you have a really calming voice. And it was just everything was kind of put at ease then. And it was a great conversation and so glad that we were able to connect.

14:19 And yeah, that was kind of the beginning of getting to know you. Absolutely. Yeah, I feel exactly the same way. You don't know what it's going to feel like. You've never heard this other person's voice before. So it's just kind of a surreal moment because I'm thinking to myself, I'm 47 years old and I've never met this person before, so it was surreal on that level.

14:47 But like I said, I was like a kid in a candy store and just couldn't wait. I was like, I get to talk to my sister finally. I know. I remember because my question was, why did he reach out to Brooke first? Why did he reach out to find me through Facebook? And then I think Brooke and Richard may have sent a picture of you, sent it via text. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, he looks just like me.

15:14 And so that made the connection even more strong is that we favor so much, I think. And you just look like my family. I feel like and it's like, wow, this is really real. And you don't know. You're told that you have a biological sibling out there and you really don't know what you're going to get and just say you look normal, and then to see like, you are you're one of us. You look like my brother. That made it more at ease for me as well.

15:42 And then, of course, just talking to you, I don't know if talking to you, the bond started there, but then when I met you, I don't know. It's really hard to describe the bond that I have with you because it is different than the bond that I have with my other siblings. I feel like we share the same outlook and personality traits, but it's kind of unreal.

16:08 The bond that I feel for you, that's completely biological, and it's been great. I feel very bonded and connected to you. I completely agree. And I love attention, and I love when people walk into our house and they look over at the photo that we have framed of you, Corey, Me, Jim and Oliver, all at the beach together.

16:37 And a lot of people point to that photo and say, that must be your sister. I mean, it's just uncanny the number of times people do that without knowing that that picture is of anybody in my family. And people will say, that's got to be your sister. And I'm like, yes, I think it makes me feel proud because I love you so much and I'm proud of you. And it makes me happy that people can recognize that we are siblings. And I love that.

17:06 I love that people comment that, yes, me too. I really to do, like a Photoshop collage of a picture of Kendall next to each of his siblings, because when he's standing next to any of them, you see that resemblance both on his dad side and on his mom's side. It's pretty incredible. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I'll see pictures of Chris and I'm like, oh, I can see that. I can see them favoring in certain ways. But then I'm like, yeah, but he still looks more like me.

17:35 Chris and I had a little chuckle a while back because he and I, of course, connected first on Ancestry.com, and then when Stephanie and I connected that way, I called him. I remember calling and teasing saying, well, I hate to tell you, but Stephanie and I share more DNA, whatever. The centaurgans, I think, is the literal term for the way they show your matches on ancestry. And we physically do.

18:05 You and I share he and I share a lot, but you and I share even more, so it's interesting. Well, Stephanie, I know you're competitive, so I'm sure that made you happy. No, it makes you very happy. I love that I've got one up on Chris. Yeah. So going back to the Labor Day, which was pretty wild with the discovery, I don't know, Stephanie, how much you're aware that after Chris and Kendall started talking, they really started focusing on how do we find out about your mom's side?

18:39 And Chris went into Detective mode with his dad, just grilling him for any kind of information that would help him. And it was actually finally Kendall's dad remembered your aunt's name or her nickname, rather. And that was the key to Googling and finding you guys. Yeah. That's pretty significant because it makes you think, well, what if he didn't remember that? Would we be sitting here today?

19:09 Right. But it's crazy. I just think everything is going to happen the way it's supposed to happen. And my mom actually gave her that nickname as a child because they were only two years apart. And it's pretty wild. I still call her. Everyone calls her by that. And it's pretty amazing that your dad could recall that. And that's ultimately how we got connected. Absolutely. Yes. I don't know. Everything kind of works the way it's supposed to work out. Yeah.

19:38 And I'm thankful that your dad recalled that. No kidding. Because the first names involved in the story for our mother and for our Auntie, they're common enough that it would have still been a challenge, I think, to find the right people with those names. I think that our auntie's nickname was the key. Really? Yeah.

20:05 And I'd always thought about doing the DNA kit, and then I guess just finding you prompted that. It's like, would I have ever done that? I don't know. I know. So I'd like you both to talk about and remember what that experience was like when you got to meet face to face for the first time. And Kendall, remind me, was that when you were on your way to move to New England?

20:35 Yes. Okay, so our New England move happened, of course, crazy fast. Yeah, we moved six months after first finding my dad's side of the family, which was about less than five months since I found my mom's side of the family. So, yeah, that was fast.

20:56 But the plan was so that I would fly into Stephanie's town and visit with her and Oliver and Jim for a few days and then fly on to Boston to officially start living in New England. So it served a purpose, but it was something I wanted to have happen. I didn't want to fly over the Mids part of the mid section of the country and not get to meet them.

21:28 So that was fantastic. And I'll never forget to see, of course, we already knew what each other looked like, but just locking eyes in the airport and running toward each other and hugging, it was an amazing moment. It really was. And I remember being super nervous, anxious. But yeah, seeing you and we had other family with us. And I remember one of them saying, that's him, that's him.

21:56 And we did run and hug, and I think I cried because I cry easily anyway. But yeah, that initial reaction was pretty amazing, one that I'll never forget. And then having you come to my home and stay with us for several days and just learning about each other, I think we stayed up till midnight, 100 in the morning just learning about your childhood, my childhood, how close we were here in Arkansas and not even knowing it and learning similarities.

22:31 Growing up, our outlooks on life and that bond just grew. But I felt like it was immediate, but it definitely grew. And that time with you is extremely valuable and getting to know you, and it was just a really wonderful time and taking you over to our aunt's house. And I remember even this sounds really weird, but just being protected, like, I just wanted to protect you. Even though you're my older brother, I wanted to make sure that you were okay.

23:01 But you're so easy. Everything with you is pretty easy. You're easy to talk to, easy to be with. But I just remember, like, this is my new brother and I want to take care of him. It was wonderful. The best part was just getting to hear your stories of growing up with your family and what it was like living in Arkansas.

23:23 Because I could totally relate growing up in a small town and wanting to get out and experience life and just our similar views and outlooks on life and the bonds that we shared then we didn't even know. Right. So, yeah, it was a great experience for sure. Having you come to Arkansas and get to know you personally and then having you get to know my husband and son and our aunt and her family. Yeah. That was fantastic to me.

23:53 You and I only have two cousins on our mom's side, and I got to meet them both during that trip. And it was just it was fantastic. And I get really emotional about this in general. It made me feel like kind of the complete circle was there at the point that I came to visit. We, of course, had just been talking for a few months, and I'd known these people's names and I'd seen photos of them and even spoken to some of them.

24:25 But to be physically in the room just made me feel so much a part of the family. Absolutely. Yeah. And it makes me sad that you didn't get to know our grandparents, because I see some traits that you have that our grandmother had and we missed out on a lot of time. But it's really great that we have you now and we can make memories we already have in these past few years.

24:56 I've spent more time with you than my other siblings. It seems like just very fortunate and blessed that you're here with us now. Yeah. Stephanie, you touched on I think one of the surreal, weird things about this story or one of the twists is that you two were quite similar in age, and so you were probably having very similar experiences in Arkansas growing up and having no idea you were siblings. I know. Yeah.

25:25 It's bizarre. And Stephanie remembers this part of the story, too, but the College that she went to, I almost went to, and if I had done that, she and I would have been on campus at the same time. Like, it's just the ways that our paths might have crossed are bizarre. Yeah, it's incredible. It's kind of mind blowing knowing that you were here and we could have almost been on campus together and we were so close and had no idea.

25:59 Right. Yeah. Well, I definitely wanted to make sure that we met, too, on my journey to England, which was a little different than Kendall, because I drove cross country, did the first half with our friend Mrs. Killian, who you got to meet. Yes. And yeah, I'm happy that she was able to experience that, too. She's been a really important part of my life since I was eight years old.

26:30 So it was to have her on that part of the journey. I got just surreal getting to meet all of you at once because it wasn't just you, it was your aunt and your cousins. It was just like, wow, this is happening. I don't think I ate two bites on my lunch because I was just so in the moment. Yeah. Taking it all in. And that was really wonderful of you to make that effort and stop and meet us all. And that's the thing.

27:01 You don't know what you're going to get when you find a biological sibling out there that you didn't know. And, man, we just hit the jackpot with you two guys, and you're just both very wonderful, good people and very loving. And it goes to show your wonderfulness and great character that you would take time out of your journey to stop and spend time with our family and get to know us.

27:31 And it meant a lot to me. I know it meant a lot to my aunt and my cousins. Well, family has always been really important to me, and I was pretty fortunate that we didn't have much family drama growing up. I'm very close with my siblings, my extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins. And I just felt like since early on, Kendall and I being together, it was like, well, he's part of that family now, too.

28:00 And until years later, we just didn't have that opportunity for us to be part of another family. So it wasn't like, oh, I guess I'll go meet them. It's like, no, I'm going to meet my family, too. I know your investment in Kendall and our family means the world to me and Jim. I mean, it's the greatest thing. And it was needed. It was totally needed for me.

28:29 You guys have been wonderful. Thank you. Well, I'd always said that there was a missing piece in Kendall's heart, and once we found that piece, it's like we're going in full tilt Boogie, just like we moved to California. I'm like, all right, we're heading out east. Yeah. Sometimes I think there's nothing more important than family.

28:54 We have wonderful friends in California, but it's just something about family doesn't compare. I don't know. I don't know how to explain it, but I knew it was important to do. Yeah. And when people say, Gosh, you guys had a great life in California. How did you leave it? I'm like, it was pretty easy for us. Yes.

29:18 We loved our lives in California, and it was a tiny condo, but it was ours, and we loved it, but we had great jobs and great friends and no, it wasn't easy to do, but it was an easy decision to make. I'll never forget when we had only met my dad and siblings on that side, and we were like, we have to get closer to everybody.

29:49 And being in California was not the most practical place to be. Right? Like, nobody was out west. We were the only two out west. So this has been a really good thing, because when you and Jim and Oliver get to come visit, you get to capitalize on the fact that Jim's sister lives near too. So it was a great opportunity, I think, for us to pardon me to make that move. Yeah.

30:16 I totally understand why some people never leave the town town they're from or the city they're from or the state they're from because they're so close with their family, they can't imagine being in another place. Some of the greatest things in my life, of course, my husband and my son. But, man, you're right up there. Getting to meet you and have you a part of my life has been one of the biggest blessings. Thank you. So, Stephanie, you mentioned always wanting to have a big brother.

30:45 Why do you think that was something that you wanted? I think because I was the oldest, and then there's three years between Richard and I, so we kind of, like, bought all the time because I was a good kid and he kind of got trouble. Brooke and I were pretty close because I felt like there's almost ten years between us. So I felt like I had to take care of her. But I always felt like I wanted a bigger brother to kind of watch over and take care of me growing up, because I guess I just felt like I had to set the example.

31:15 I grew up in a small town. I had great parents. My family is wonderful. But I just knew that I was not going to stay there. I felt like my future wasn't there. So I don't know if there was a sense of guilt of knowing that I was going to leave. And I didn't want to hurt, especially my mom leaving home. But I don't know if there was a lot of guilt there of leaving, but I just knew my future was not in that town.

31:45 But I've always wanted a bigger brother. So I guess maybe not to fill the guilt of being the first one to leave home. I don't know. But I always wanted a bigger brother to kind of watch over me and just take care of me. But having Kendall now, it's like, yeah, he's my brother, but we're just good friends and we communicate so well, and being with him is so easy and enjoyable, and it's been wonderful. Yeah.

32:14 I just kind of sit back in awe when we're all together because it does not feel like you two have only known each other for a few years. It's like, I know here's these lifelong siblings. I know it's unreal. I agree. And I will say that I probably would have helped you out with that whole guilt thing because I probably would have been the first one to leave, too, being the older one, just because that's a similarity that you and I share.

32:42 When I was 13 in my tiny town, I remember looking over at my dad and my stepmother over dinner one night and was like, I love you guys, but I'm going to totally be out of here as soon as I can be. And they never wanted to hold me back. They were like, hey, I get it. Go have a nice life and just come back and see us. I feel like you would have been, like, grabbing my hand, saying, absolutely.

33:14 Yeah. So it's been really wonderful to see the bond develop between you so quickly. But why do you think it happened that way that you guys were so instantly bonded? Yeah, I'm not really sure. I don't know if it's the biological part of it or it's our shared belief, our personality traits, because I want to take care of people. I want everybody to be happy, and I want to include everybody.

33:44 And I feel Kendall is the exact same way. I want to make sure everybody's happy. Maybe that's part of the nurse and me the caretaker, but I feel like he's the same way and I can't pinpoint it. But just our shared beliefs, our compassion for other people, wanting to make the world a better place kind of ideology, but, yeah, it's kind of uncanny how similar we are in that.

34:16 And I guess that's what both us so much. I'm not really sure I agree. That feels to me like I've got other siblings in addition to Stephanie, and what she's describing is the way I feel about it, too. I love all the others, but I don't know that I share some of those same things with my other siblings.

34:44 And I think it just makes you feel connected because you can talk about more things. Probably. Yeah. I have some wonderful memories of our trip to New Orleans where we got to meet Brooke. That was a great trip. Yeah. That was fun. That was my first time in New Orleans. So it was crazy to have that whole New Orleans experience. Plus meeting family. It was wild. Yeah.

35:14 And that meant a lot to broke, too. I just remember her being so happy to finally put her arms around you and give you a big old hug, and you got to meet her daughter as well. That was definitely a wonderful time for all three of us to be together in that way. Absolutely. Yeah. And that's when we really discovered your passion for football. Yeah, it's intense.

35:44 It is. You might have seen sides of me you want to forget. That was a lot of fun. Another thing that I love about Kendall is I know he's not the biggest sports person, but every time we come out there, I drag him to a restaurant game or freezing Patriot game in December, and he's just a trooper and goes right along with it. Well, thank you for doing this.

36:07 I think it's going to open the doors for other people that may be on the fence that just needs that little boost because of whatever their story is with their family and answering questions. Sometimes you just need that little boost to open that door and you never know what's out there. I can't imagine not having you now. And I think it's real encouraging. For those folks. I agree. Well, we love you.

36:37 Love you, Kendall. Love you, Corey. Okay. You too. You have a great day. Thank you soon. Bye bye. This is the family twist podcast hosted by Kendall and Cory stalks with original music by cosmic afterthoughts and produced by outpost productions and presented by savvy affair marketing communications. Have a story you want to share? Visit familytwistpodcast.com. All our social media links are there as well.